Term 4 Written Language

WALT write a character description of a person we know very well.

We know we have achieved this when we …

-    have written about the person’s physical appearance (the way they look).

-    have written about the person’s behaviour (how they speak or act).

-    have written about how they affect other people (what do they do to make you notice them).

-    have written about the person’s environment and belongings.

-    used descriptive words to make a picture in the mind of the reader

My Dad by Matina Charlton

My dad tickles me really lightly and he’s got happy smiles all the time. My dad has dark eyebrows and he wears light blue work shoes - very light blue shoes and he has got brown eyes like me. He has got big giant ears and he is 42 years old. He is very old and my dad is very, very tall. He carries me to bed at night. He has no hair but only spikes that are little and black. He owns a motorbike that he has been fixing for months. My dad lives at 59 Cobra Street. We had some tulips that I am helping him with. His special people are me and my sister Serena, and my mum. Our backyard is like an adventure playground so you can have an adventure in our backyard. He sleeps on the couch and owns a white car.

Feedback:

You have begun to describe your Dad’s behaviour and what he does but I have no real picture in my mind of what he actually looks like. You need to describe his physical appearance more. Check the criteria as to what else to add.

Next steps:

1.    Try to begin your sentences in different ways.

2.   Use adjectives (describing words) and maybe some similes so there is a clearer picture of Dad.

3.   Some sentences can be extended further to give more information e.g. “He has got big giant ears.” What exactly are they like. Could you use a simile?